Why are we so afraid of risk?

People talk about risk like it’s a modern-day leprosy.

We live in an ever-increasing risk-averse world that leaves us staying in the same job for too long, settling for a relationship that we aren’t happy in, not making the necessary changes we know we need to make, and sometimes not even getting to eat peanut butter!

The concept of risk has become terrifying. It can paralyze us and leave us in a spot that no longer serves us.

And all that for what? What are we getting from avoiding risk at all costs?

Well, risk is…well it’s risky. When we don’t know the outcome of our next big move and we’re putting something on the line to try and find out, we lose all levels of control.

So to start off, let’s look quickly at what exactly risk even is because I think it can mean plenty of different things for different people.

In the outdoors, we talk about risk as the potential for harm or loss occurring while doing just about anything at all.

In the rest of the world, the idea stays the same. It’s most easily defined as the possibility of something bad happening.

So our fear of risk is boiled down to the fear of “something bad”.

That makes a whole lot of sense. And we shouldn’t harsh on ourselves too hard for being afraid of taking a big risk. That protective mechanism in our brain tells us something and we should listen to it.

Dealing with risk doesn’t entail just not being scared. Fear is powerful and fear is useful. It plays a role in our decision-making and provides a lot of useful information.

Risk aversion happens when we let that fear take full control and steer us away from all potential harm, leaving us sedentary. Sedentary lives often feel a lot like stuck lives. And a stuck life hardly, if ever, feels like a life well-lived.

So it’s necessary to take risks at some point. And that’s what I want to talk about; how do we embrace risk so we can live a life full of purpose, passion, and joy without the fear of risk?

Take a step toward getting comfy with change

Steps to embracing risk and getting unstuck

No one likes living with the fear of risk. A lot of people crave becoming that risk-taker and risk-lover, but there’s a massive block in the way.

I’m offering up just a few ways that you can take forward to work on embracing risk. I also want to be clear on the fact that there’s a lot more work to be done inside of each of these steps.

But you’re here now. And this is a fantastic place to start.

Perceived risk vs actual risk

Fear has this way of building things up in our minds to extreme levels. Risk management starts at the identification of what things we’re thinking about can be classified as perceived risk, and what is considered actual risk.

Perceived risk is the risk we imagine to be true or possible.

Actual risk comes from statistics and true probability rather than just our own beliefs.

For example, the perceived risk of getting in a car to drive to the store is usually pretty low for most people. The actual risk is relatively high.

Both versions of risk play an important role in risk management, and neither should be ignored.

You might think that the actual risk matters most and the perceived risk is imaginary. But the truth is, our level of perceived risk can greatly impact our performance in the moment.

If we see something as high risk (regardless of the numbers backing the probability) we’ll show up nervous. That nervous energy can lead to mistakes, increasing the likelihood of something bad happening, and therefore increasing the actual risk.

Failure is okay

Often, the idea of making a move and encountering failure is the risk itself.

Failure is something that we universally avoid and struggle to accept. While failure might not ever feel good, we can still learn a lot from it.

I don’t expect anyone to immediately lose the fear of failure, nor do I want everyone to do so. That fear of failure and identification of risk can be a powerful motivating force to help drive us toward success.

Rather, I encourage the practice of examining failure both before and after the fact to identify what you can learn from it.

Recognizing that there are lessons to be learned from failure can help reframe the risk you’re taking. If you can note down the potential failures, but the lessons that come with them, the risk becomes paired with the benefit of learning valuable lessons.

To me, this is one of the “cheesier” things about embracing risk. The idea of learning what you can from failure feels very “duh” and pretty “if only it was that easy”.

But it’s also one of the most valuable. Plus, I did warn you that there was a lot more work than just following this short-form blog post.

What is your fear telling you?

If we’re scared of risk, one of the best ways to embrace it is to ask why.

What is that fear trying to tell you?

Let’s take a quick look at Keiko.

Keiko is leaving her day job as a banker to pursue something more purposeful and engaging. She wants to become a dog walker because she’s always loved dogs and recognizes the need for someone who can intensely love your pet while you’re away at work.

But she’s terrified to make the move.

The banking job is secure, with work guaranteed. The risk of shifting to a freelance job is scary because she’s not certain that she’ll always have work.

Her fear might be telling her that she isn’t financially prepared to have some days where work is guaranteed. Knowing that, she can build out a plan of slowly incorporating the new position into her life, build a solid client base, and wait to leave her full-time position until her work in the dog walking sphere is solidified and more guaranteed.

With fear, we should always be listening to what it’s trying to tell us. There’s valuable information in there and we can pull from it to make accommodations and plans that will fit us, rather than fuel our uncomfortable emotions.

Acceptance of change

Sometimes the risk we take is just the risk that things will change to something that we’re uncomfortable or unhappy with.

Change is hard. It’s “the only constant” in life, but still, we never get used to it.

I recently read The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter. Overall, it was a great book that was very relatable to the time I’ve spent in the Alaskan backcountry on long expeditions.

In one of the later chapters, Easter talks about the concept of thinking about your own death daily.

To help you through 45 minutes of audiobook, he’s talking about embracing impermanence. It’s a very Buddhist-based practice, but one that’s also accessible for all of us.

Accepting that things will change whether we want them to or not can be massively powerful in taking control over how they change.

If we’re no longer avoiding the change, it’s easy to shift our mindset to think about how we can create the change, and utilize it to our advantage.

Level of acceptable loss

In any risky situation, it’s valuable to examine what you’re okay with losing.

In mountaineering, the question is often if you’re okay with dying.

In career shifts, it’s more often about being okay with a pay cut or shift in daily structure.

In relationships, it’s frequently the question of if you’re okay with being alone.

In any situation, it’s up to you to decide what’s acceptable. Placing a frame around loss and deciding what we’re able to cope with or deal with at the moment helps to grow this idea of embracing risk.

If taking one level of risk is acceptable, but losing something bigger isn’t, you can then adjust your actions to make it so you’re only risking what you’re okay with losing.

Embrace risk so you can embrace growth

We too often look at risk-taking with a fear-based lens, and it makes sense why.

The problem is when we avoid it all and let that fear take over our lives.

Weighing risk and learning how to work it to your benefit is far more powerful than letting it weigh you down.

At the same time, be patient with yourself. This isn’t a fast process, nor is it easy. Confronting risk has its own party bag of risks that comes along with it.

But when you get there, be ready for life to open up.